All packed, snacks made, dinner finished and I’m resting in space between then and when. Tomorrow, I leave for Bangkok. I can feel my body shifting to that energy all day today. In the quiet space of the past three days, I’ve not driven my car. Enough food in the fridge has nourished my meals. I’ve got enough coffee and milk for morning latte’s. My days begin with my morning writing exercise. I’m about 36 consecutive days writing at least three pages each morning.
I opened the writing program this morning and waited for what wanted to be written to show up. When it did, I was reminded of feeling I’m living in a “suspended” space between here and there, between the then of the past where daily activities fill day and when I’m in SE Asia wandering about once again. Here, packed, priorities handled, bills paid, taxes finished and travel food prepared, I’m being. Nothing defines me, not work or driving to appointments or any sort of role. Like taking off a coat once you enter a warm house from a chilled outdoors, I’m shedding who I’ve been. None of that is important now.
When is coming, when I travel, when I arrive, when I am surrounded by an exotic and dramatically different culture is on its way. Not here yet, not back then still, I’m suspended between the two and it’s a nice feeling.
I’ll soon surrender driving for walking. My jaunts will immerse in a new world. Each few meters will reveal a new experience, an experience of smells or foods or people or rituals or something very different than here. Walking immerses me in the physical world surrounding me, driving separates. I’ll be immersing soon. Not now but when. Soon!
Rhythm takes over for “have to’s” and “need to’s” and adrenaline drama of daily living here. Running about watching the clock constantly hurrying gives way to wandering about and listening. I’m about to step back into the world of ease and flow, a sense and feeling of guiding my life activities by what feels right in the moment. And not until that moment arrives will I know what’s next.
Here, it’s a lot of planning and mental calculation, figuring out, anticipating, planning and such. There in the other world, rhythm and presence if more highly valued. I can already see smiling faces lighting up at seeing me again after an absence of three years. Recognition will dawn, a face erupts into a broad smile. No words are exchanged, we have few in common. But recognition, seeing the “being” of another, that transcends words and language.
I’m not eager for that experience, I’m practicing staying here now, suspended. But soon, I’ll be in “when” and everything will be different, everything but the being present.
Pack loaded, passport ready, body healing, heart open, new friends and experiences await, I’m about to launch once again.