It’ll be two weeks tonight that I arrived back home. And I’m still adjusting. The first few days were a blur as I settled into a “return home” rhythm. I slept when tired, ate when hungry, did nothing, read, shopped, and listened to the rhythm as my body adapted. Slowly, I began sleeping through the night. When I did, I slept 12 hours.
And then there was the outside world to contend with. The pace of life her is shocking compared to where I had been for six weeks. Fast, harried, impatient, scheduled, structured, moving through this “now” to get to the next moment but experiencing neither, move, accomplish, be busy, collapse and repeat. The external world always has an impact. I monitored my dosage to the outside so when I was engaged, I was engaged on my terms.
What were my terms? Staying centered and connected to myself. Moving in a pace that appealed to me. Smiling, and feeling happy, in spite of the strange looks a happy countenance provoked. Gentle, ease, flowing, listening, moving when inspired. When I noticed “hurry” emerging, I stopped.
I unpacked and listed every thing in my pack to evaluate it’s importance to future trips. I made a list of items to buy either because my old ones were worn out or they appeared on my trip and were very valuable. And I drank good coffee! Ah, glorious and delicious good coffee courtesy of my sis who ordered in my favorite Stumptown Hair Bender Espresso blend as a birthday gift. One sip and I had to completely focus on savoring that experience. AhhhhhH!
Now feeling more settled, I’m exploring what to do next. Coffee came up on my trip nearly every day. I trained staff at another coffee shop and once I landed back here, met people at the new coffee shop on main and they’ve asked me to come play with them regarding milk. My friends Steve and Ellie gifted me with “Perk Up, LLC” as a name for potential future coffee shop. I won a commercial blender at a coffee event at the Barista Pro shop (and I thought I made good smoothies before!).
The biggest question mark in my life evolves around getting clarity on what to do next? Everything I have focused on doing in my life, I’ve done well and been very successful at. However, many of the things I’ve chosen have come from the analytical mind choosing and they haven’t been fulfilling at a Soulful level. THus, I’m listening and asking for what my Soul wants to express. Nothing else will be sufficient at this point in my life. Yes, I could do anything. No, I wouldn’t be happy doing anything.
While reflecting on what I know, exercises and affirmations, meditations, quiet space, methods for listening to the Soul’s response and asking what I know that would be helpful, I stumbled upon an interview with Wayne Dyer. It was very helpful. The first interview I found isn’t available any longer, but this one is.
In the late 70’s when I felt like I was going through a nervous breakdown and a friend introduced me to Leo Buscaglia and Wayne Dyer, my life took a noticeable shift. When I left Salt Lake City and a Christmas trip returning to my teaching position at the University of Louisville and suffering a devastating relationship break up, I was concerned how I would survive??? I’d been miserable, lost weight, and felt lost. At the airport, I saw a book by Wayne Dyer displayed out front. I picked it up and began reading. That book and my experience reading it literally changed my life.
I learned a valuable lesson: live what you read, don’t just read what you read. While reading Wayne’s words, I’d keep them fresh in my mind and look at the world through those eyes. Experiences changed, challenges showed up and were tiny bumps on the road rather than a devastating detour like they might have been days before. I learned to internalize what I was reading, if it felt right, and integrate those ideas deeply into my life.
This video reminded me of what I know and is one more moment where magic showed up in my life giving me exactly what I needed when I needed it. It’s approximately 45 minutes long.
Enjoy!